I'm so frustrated and disappointed in myself right now. I got a call back on that job I was hoping for today and I didn't get it. I know why too and I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I couldn't get it. It's worse because, in my mind, I already had it. My cousin that works there says a second interview is pretty much a guaranteed job. I guess that's not really the case...
I'm a freaking basket case. Just when I think I've punished myself enough for this thing I couldn't even control, I lose it again. I've got that trapped feeling again, like I'm doomed to work in retail until the daylight at the top of my debt hole is just a pinprick in the darkness and I'm swallowed whole...
I cannot even imagine how crushed I would be if this had actually been a position I really desired. Job hunting is shitty business...I guess it's time to get stinky. Again.
I need something positive to think about before I fall asleep or I'm going to wake up just as sad and frustrated as I am now...either way, it feels like my eyes are going to fall out of my head. Seriously.
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