Thursday, November 3, 2016

It's Happening... and I couldn't be happier.

Well, last week Wednesday marked exactly one month since I lost my love. As I shared in our last few messages, I was going to call him that day. There was some weirdness on Facebook with being unblocked and reblocked by him and then the witch. So I was incredibly frustrated by the time I called him. He didn't answer right away but texted that he would call me back. By later in the day, I decided that I would send the link to my blog to the witch because I was fed up, and I was very nasty...I even told her that she was the only person that ever made me want to be vindictive. I texted him that I figured he wouldn't call and to have a nice life, and he finally responded. We chatted for awhile about the obviously poor decision. He agreed that it was a mistake and we both agreed to having arguably the worst month of our lives. He didn't know how to fix what he'd done but I told him that I believed he could if he truly wanted to. He asked if I could ever be with him again and I told him of course I could. He said he never expected me to call but that he was very happy I did, and that he would call me the next day. I felt a lot better after that. And when he called me the next day, we both felt even better. It was heavy at first but soon it was just like it always was. We talked for almost 3 hours that day and he didn't go home that night. We've been talking for hours every day since then and he still hasn't spoken to her or gone back to her house. I don't know what the future holds for us but we both know that we don't want to ever go even one day without talking to each other. It's amazing how fast things can change and how much better you can feel when you realize what you really want and go for it. We had a great, but short reunion yesterday when his route brought him through town. A friend asked me if it was like starting over or like nothing ever happened. To which I replied, it was like our lives together were paused and we just hit play again. No one is perfect, not me and not him but when you find something as good and real as what we have, you can't let it go despite poor decisions and mistakes. I know that our future will have many complications as the witch has basically proven and promised that but now that we've experienced life apart we're both committed to doing what needs to be done to make sure that we can be together. Because without each other, life is miserable but together it is amazing...he's my atomic thunderstorm and I can't wait for the rain!

He's going to be here for the weekend and I can hardly contain my excitement... to have him back makes my heart feel like bursting with joy. I had this feeling that he would come back to me even despite my sincere grief over losing him. I just knew that our story couldn't possibly be over...it's just getting started 

Monday, October 24, 2016

It Happened. Part 21

So there it is...the whole damn story. I don't like the way I behaved at the end but I know if I had to do it again I probably would do exactly the same thing. I just love him that much. It's been nearly a month since we last saw each other, spoke or texted. The last thing we actually said to each other that last morning when he left was "I love you". I meant it then and I still do. But he went on to unfriend and block me on Facebook and he won't even answer our friend Angela's calls and texts. I don't know if he's blocked my phone because I haven't tried to contact him since that fateful day...
I will be true to my word and reach out in a couple days when it truly has been a month. If it turns out I am blocked I've asked Angela to send him these blog posts. I believe he needs reminding that our relationship was real. Our love was real. Even if it makes no difference to him now, this is what I need to do to have closure. I really do believe that he will wake up one day and realize that he gave up something incredibly special. By that point it will probably be too late. I won't wait forever because I know what I want from life and love. But I meant what I said about my feelings for him not being finite. This song, an old favorite from years ago, pretty much sums up exactly how I feel...



It Happened. Part 20

I guess around this point in the relationship I should have started to see the warning signs that the manipulation tactics of the heinous bitch (as I've come to call her) were starting to wear on him. But I had no reason not to trust him...

I was clearly wrong.